This week I spent most of my time working on the piles of paper in the living room.  No matter how much time I spent, it seemed as if the piles never became smaller.  I want to give up but I refuse to throw any of it away until I am sure that it is not needed.  I continue to sort through the mess deciding to file or toss each item, one by one.   No wonder these things have been sitting around forever…..I am bored to tears…..literally.

Just for Gabe and Maria, who are undoubtedly enjoying warmer weather in California, a few pictures of the snow.  It’s beautiful but I’m wishing I was there and I’m guessing they are wishing they were here.  For the first time, we had no USPS mail delivery.  And it’s been so quiet, the first salt truck just drove by this evening.

This week I decided to start sorting the piles of clutter that were originally on the love seat in the living room.  I made good progress, I posted some things to sell and a few things were donated.  The amount of clutter in the living room has increased as I brought the piles back in to the room to sort.  I am more than 75% through the piles and should finish them up over the next two or three days.  Since I had already convinced myself that I was willing to let those items go, it wasn’t very stressful at all.  I’m not looking forward to returning to the piles of paperwork and the items in front of the fireplace that I have been avoiding.  I’m sure that I’ll find a way to delay that project as long as I can this week.

When my mother passed away, I was left in charge of emptying the contents of her home.  Luckily for me, my sister Sue purchased our childhood home so I was able to declutter the house at my own pace.  Not so lucky for Sue, I still have not completed the task.  Sue, who accepts the fact that I move slowly on these types of projects, has stacked the clutter in her basement, waiting for the day that I will come and finish the job.  Five years later……she’s still waiting.

Eight weeks before Christmas, Sue called to tell me that a drainage pipe had cracked in her basement.  Because of the age of the cast iron pipes and the likelihood that the repair would be complicated and costly, Sue could not find a plumber to fix the problem.  While Sue desperately searched for someone willing and capable to perform the needed repair, the crack spread and the humidity level rose.  Mold was starting to form near the pipe and she grew concerned that it would spread to the clutter in the back of the basement.  Sue took steps to protect everything but decided that the linens in the back of the basement should be removed and cleaned.  She ran them to the laundromat and when she finished washing and drying everything, she gave me a call.

Sue:  “I found a plumber.  He’s coming tomorrow.  I washed all the linens in the basement and I’m on my way to drop them off.  Decide what you want to do with them.”

blankets and curtains

The linens were my problem now and I hadn’t planned on dealing with them.  Not only was I feeling the pressure to empty my living room before Christmas, my husband Mike had a dental problem that was vexing me.  Within the hour, Sue delivered the linens and I decided to sort the piles which included bedding, curtains and unfinished craft projects.  When I finished sorting, I looked at the piles and thought “Now what?”.  I didn’t need any of it and most of it was outdated.  While lost in thought and considering my options, the phone rang.  It was my sister-in-law, Karen M and I told her about the unpleasant chore and moaned about my inability to decide on how to properly distribute the materials.  I was feeling sorry for myself when she responded:

Karen M:  “You have a bunch of things in my garage too.  And I could really use that space with Christmas coming.”

Ugh!  It was her tone of voice.  What I heard was “You live in a big old mess and you contaminated my space also, you inconsiderate ass.”  It was a rough day for me.  First, I’m reminded that I’ve left a mess in my sister’s house for 5 years.  Now, I was being reminded that I cluttered my sister in law’s garage too.  So I apologized for being so thoughtless and told Karen M that I would stop by at her convenience to clean my clutter from her garage.  The sooner the better, I told her.  But Karen M did not want me rummaging through her garage without her.  I had to wait until she was home to supervise.

The idea that I had left clutter at Karen M’s unnerved me.  It didn’t make sense.  We have a contentious relationship and my clutter annoys her.  Why would I have left things there and then suffer complete amnesia about the details surrounding the arrangement?  I knew her garage was indeed full (just like mine) and she had offered to store a metal shelving unit for me a while ago but it was the only item that I could recollect.

Once we made arrangements for pick up, I asked my sister Sue to help me load the clutter and bring it back to my home.  We arrived to find Karen M burrowing through the piles of furniture and recyclables, assuring us that all my clutter was somewhere in the back of the garage.  And after waiting for her to complete her search, the only thing she found of mine was the metal shelves.

Although I felt vindicated, there was no need to feel cocky.  The experience forced me to cast a critical eye on the shelves and linens and I knew that I had to dispose of them as quickly as possible.

I kept a few of the linens and donated the rest.  A local charity wanted the shelves but two months later, they still are postponing pick up and they remain in my driveway.  If they aren’t gone by Sunday night, into the garbage they shall go.

I was pleased that I was able to let go of these items but I dread the prospect of stopping over at Sue’s to finish clearing out her basement.  The items in storage were my mother’s and I accepted responsiblity for them a long time ago.  They are relics of a strained and tumultuous relationship.  She is indelibly etched in my memory, I don’t need these mundane items to remember her and yet I struggle to sort her things.  And I know in my heart that if she had more time, she would have purged everything.  Regardless, I still feel the need to go through the boxes one last time.  I think I’m ready.  And as I do, I will hear her chiding me…….”Karen!  Let it go!”  It’s what she would have wanted and for once, without question, she would be absolutely right.

Over the last week, I concentrated my efforts on the pile of clutter in front of the fireplace.  The combination of an unusually busy week and my attachment to the items stored in this area made for slow progress.  There are many groupings of like items that I do not wish to part with just yet.  And to make things worse, I found a stash of paperwork in the pile that I was in no mood to deal with.  I expect this week to be tough.

This week, I am turning the camera to the other side of the living room.  As you can see, I have stacked the bulk of the clutter haphazardly in piles.  Just looking at it makes my head hurt as I know that I do not wish to part with anything that I have placed on this side of the room.  The only thing I know is that my personal expectations are low and progress will be slow.

As my living room pictures show, only a small area of my living room is functional.  When hosting groups of 8 or more, it is a challenge to find seating for everyone.  Thank goodness, these larger groups mainly consist of my nieces and nephews as they take up less space.  To accommodate everyone, we haul the dining room chairs into the living room and at least a few people must sit on the floor.  It’s not comfortable.

For the Christmas holidays, I decided that I had to make more seating available.  The best place to start?  How about the love seat across from the sofa that was full of clutter?  I had heaped so many things on and around it that it no longer resembled furniture.  It was a big embarrassing mess.

Over the past year, I have cluttered and recluttered the love seat numerous times.  By that I mean, I would clear the items that I assembled on it and immediately start a new pile.  The current pile consisted of items that were new, with or without their original packaging.  Gifts or special purchases that I struggled to let go.  As the holidays approached, I came to a decision…everything on the love seat had to go.  No second guessing, I didn’t need a Hello Kitty waffle maker or Christmas dinnerware or anything else on the pile.  I decided I would sell what I could and donate the rest.

The problem was that by the time I determined that all these items needed to go, it was too close to Christmas and I did not have the time to place ads and try to sell everything.   But I still needed the space for extra seating.  I scoured the house for a place to store all of it.  There was no extra space.  Since I was desperate, I decided to stuff everything in my bedroom.  Easier said than done.

I can not use my bedroom in its current condition.  Those who have seen it know and those who haven’t……well you will just have to use your imagination as until I finish the living room before you’ll see that mess in all its glory.  It was my only option so I condensed the clutter in the bedroom ( I made the piles higher ) until I found enough space to store the items from the love seat.  Luckily, most of the items were in boxes and stacked easily.  It just fit, allowing me to have the additional seating in the living room that I so desperately needed.

Reclaiming the love seat for its intended purpose was great.  The nephews loved it.  Over the holidays, they used the sofa, love seat and coffee table to play board games.  My nieces stopped by to watch movies and laid across the furniture instead of sitting like sardines in a can.  My husband was able to fall asleep watching television or reading a book in a prone position.  It was very satisfying.

I have managed to keep the love seat cleared over the last few weeks and I think I can continue to do so.  But I haven’t dealt with the clutter that once occupied that space.  This week, I am working on selling or donating everything that was on the love seat.  And I am actually looking forward to starting the next pile in the living room.

When I look at the living room this week, it seems that time has stood still.  Under the circumstances, I call that progress.  My son was home for the holidays and I did not spend much time sorting or decluttering once he arrived.  Now that he has returned to school, it’s time to work.

It is encouraging that the areas that I decluttered have remained decluttered.  Next week, I will have to start taking my living room pictures from another angle so that eventually I will complete a 360° view.  The back left corner will be a challenge because I have stacked boxes of items that I want to keep and I have not created any new display areas.  The goal is to see what is in the boxes and decide if I need to keep it all.

There is another table in my living room in the far right corner.  It is completely non functional as it has clutter heaped upon it.  It is the place where I store my breakable items as no one can reach that area (I mean Mike).  Like every other area of my home, I have placed so much upon it that if I don’t sort and wrap the most fragile items, they will become damaged.

I began sorting the items on the top of the table quickly but underneath the table is the largest stash of lamps that I have in the living room.  Ideally, I would like to gather together all my lamps so that I can see exactly what I have and then reduce the number to a manageable quantity.  So I’ve decided to leave the lamps right where they are until I finish decluttering the living room.

Since that area has been decluttered, the lamps are quite noticeable.  There are at least 20.  Even the really cute stained glass rooster is a lamp.  Everyone who has come to visit over the holidays asks “Why???”  I can only answer “That’s not all of them.  I have a problem.”

The kids are quite perplexed by the phenomenon.  “How many are there?”, they ask repeatedly.  “I don’t really know”, I respond.  I tell them that they will find out the same time that I do, as soon as I finish decluttering.  Then everyone can guess how many lamps are actually there.  It should be a surprise to all, including myself.

I continue to try to convince myself that it IS possible to stop at a thrift store and purchase nothing.  It’s harder than it sounds but I am building up a slight resistance to my vice.  I stop at the stores less often and about 20% of the time, I leave without making a purchase.  But when I am with my sister Kat, the odds plummet to zero.  I always make a purchase when I am with her.  Kat knows what I can’t resist.  And as long as I make a purchase, I think it makes her feel better about her thrift store habit.

Recently, Kat and I went shopping together.  We planned on stopping at the post office and grocery store.  Of course, our route passed by a thrift store.  And of course, we HAD to stop.  And as we wandered down the aisles, I reminded myself that I did not need to purchase anything.  My confidence soared as I neared the checkout with empty hands.  Confidence was high…..I could do it!  And then I spied……the LAMP.

It should have been in the back of the store with the furniture.  It wasn’t supposed to be there nestled between the dishware.  I was admiring its art glass shade when Kat found me.

Kat:  “Find something you like?”

Me:  “It’s pretty but I already have a few of these.”

Kat:  “Not like that one though.  It has a really nice shade.”

We bantered back and forth.  Kat insisting that I purchase the lamp while I maintained that I did not need it.  Our discussion continued and eventually we attracted the attention of the manager Diane who decided to help by taking Kat’s side in the debate.  The two of them produced reason after reason why I should have the lamp.

Kat:  “It’s pretty.”

Diane:  “It’s cheap.”

Kat:  “You know you want it.”

Diane:  “You deserve something special.”

Kat:  “It’s small, it will fit anywhere.”

Diane:  “It’s for a good cause.”

Kat:  “I want to buy it for you.”

Diane:  “Let your sister buy it for you.”

They were vested in convincing me to make the purchase.  Diane was interested because it’s her job to sell as much as she can.  Kat was interested because she had a cart full of things and my lack of a purchase was making her rethink her choices.  I didn’t want to be guilted in to the purchase but I started to feel embarrassed.  I didn’t want to announce in the middle of the busy sales floor, “I’m trying to practice restraint and you two are not helping me.”  No, instead I looked at their smiling faces, gently cajoling me into submission and said “OK, I’ll take the lamp.”  Kat and Diane were pleased and assured me that I had made the right decision.  When I arrived home, Mike saw the lamp and shook his head.

Mike:  “Another lamp?!?”

Me:  “I don’t EVEN want to discuss it.”

I have no one to blame but myself.  Deep down inside I wanted that lamp.  Kat and Diane facilitated that desire.  But I did not need that lamp.  I searched the house for the reasons why and I found 3 of them.   Two of them were gifts from Kat.  One I bought at a church sale.  And I think there may be more in the house that are similar in design.

Lamps will continue to test my self-control as although I have an extreme abundance, I always find something new to tempt me.  I need to be able to say no, when I know better.  And better means, knowing what I have so that I do not repurchase the same items over and over again.  And when I know better and know what I have and still bring home a lamp, I need to let another one go.