I’ve done well over the last few weeks.

I bought a few new clothing items.

Kat brought a few items for Jaxon.

I freecycled a few items.

But the following week was filled with all kind of crazy.

There was emotional clutter with family drama everywhere you turned.

Physical clutter everywhere one looks.

Outside, I stocked up on reduced plants at Lowe’s and as the temperatures dropped near freezing and I decided to wait to place them in the ground.

Inside, my house has imploded once again with the surprise that I am participating in a garage sale this coming weekend.

How did I get caught by surprise?  I wasn’t home to be part of the decision making process with the neighbors because I took a part time job at a floral shop.  I should not have said that any day worked for me.

Now I’m off to talk to the floral store owner who had verbally agreed not to schedule me the weekend of the sale.  She waited to post this weeks schedule until last evening and has apparently changed her mind but didn’t call to tell me.

Did I mention that she is bat shit crazy?  I don’t know if it is a physical, mental or psychological problem or more likely a combination of them all.  That’s the type of person that hires me.  I have a long history of crazy bosses (and that’s being polite) but that’s a story for another day.

Just another pressure that is not helping me at all.

Of all the church sales in my area, there are two that I consider the best, Hamilton and Saint Winifred’s.  They each have the perfect combination of cheap, interesting and plentiful items to tempt me and they are held on the same weekend.  Luckily, the start times are staggered in a way that I can make it to both sales and shop slowly.

As the weather warmed, I started to think about the sales, mistakenly thinking that they were held in June.  I was surprised when I traveled past Hamilton and saw a sign for their rummage sale which was scheduled for the very next day.  As soon as I returned home, I checked each of their websites and found that they were scheduled, as they always are, the weekend after Easter.

Saint Winifred’s actually starts on Friday evening and I made sure I was waiting line 35 minutes before the doors opened.  This years sale was not as big as previous years.  I still managed to purchase a collection of items, including yet another suitcase, a crepe maker and a cast iron rooster.

Saturday morning, I headed out to Hamilton.  As I wandered through, Kara, who manages part of the sale, called out “Get this lady a box, she’s going to need it.”  She knows me too well.  But this year, there were not as many items that caught my eye but there were so many items that Kat collects.  I found Partylite Halloween items and at least a dozen vintage Napco and Lefton figurines for a $1 a piece that I knew she would want.

Kat came looking for me at the sale and was thrilled by my finds.  We had a problem as I had set a personal limit of $20 to spend and had already exceeded that amount. Kat had no cash so she offered to run to the ATM.

Kat:  ”I’ll be right back.  Whatever you do, do not take your eyes off our items.”

I obeyed her orders and waited near our big box of items.  It should have taken her 15 minutes, maybe 20.  Instead, I waited and I waited and I waited for her to return. I should have known better as Kat has some sort of spatial reasoning problem and she can never get from point A to point B without taking the longest way imaginable.  I am exaggerating here but not by much.  It drives me crazy, so crazy that I have been tempted to jump out of her car and start walking to my intended destination because I’ll get there faster.  After 30 minutes, the crowd thinned and the volunteers chatted with me to pass the time.  One of the women, Donna, went over to one of the tables and brought back a gingerbread rag doll.

Donna:  ”Do you like this?”

I wasn’t sure that I knew the answer to the question.  I was polite.

Me:  ”It’s lovely.”

Donna:  ”I think you should have it.”

I didn’t need a rag doll.

Me:  ”It’s really nice but I ran out of cash.  I’m sure someone else would like it.”

Donna:  ”No, no.  You don’t understand.  I want you to have it.  Free.”

Me:  ”That’s very kind, but no, I couldn’t.”

Donna:  ”Don’t you like it?  I had given it to my mother and she has since passed.  I was sure it would be gone as soon as the doors opened.”

Me:  ”Maybe you should keep it.”

Donna:  ”But I already have boxes of my mother’s belongings.”

Crap!  This is the moment when I’m supposed to gently say no.  But I looked into big blue teary eyes and said….

Me:  ”I would love the doll.  It was sweet of you to offer it to me.”

Donna was excited and we talked about her mother while I watched out the window. Where was Kat?  She screwed me again.  I could have walked home and back by now.  It took another 30 minutes before Kat arrived.

Me (growling):  ”Where were you?  I’ve been waiting forever.”

Kat:  ”Well, I dropped the car off for an oil change and picked up the blue car and went to the money machine….

I’ll bet she stopped to get something to eat too.  I was unhappy.

Me:  ”STOP!  Let’s just get out of here.”

Kat:  ”But I didn’t get to look around yet.”

She wasn’t kidding.  I tapped my foot while she circled the room.  Donna came over to me again with a framed picture in her hand.

Donna:  ”Did you tell me that your sister loves angels?”

Not exactly.  I knew where this was going however.  I pointed to Kat.

Me:  ”Why don’t you ask her.  She’s right over there.”

Donna bee-lined towards Kat.  Kat was startled at first because she doesn’t talk to strangers.  I watched her face as Donna tried to interest her in the picture and tried not to laugh.  My mood was improving.  Kat motioned me over, first with her eyes and then her hands.  I smiled and shook my head no.

Kat and Donna crossed the room towards me.  Together, we told Donna “no”.

Me:  ”Kat collects a different type of angel.”

Kat:  ”Ceramic angels.”

Donna:  ”I had this professionally framed for my mother and I’d really like it to go to a good home….”

Donna’s eyes welled up again and Kat and I knew we were not leaving without that picture.  We could do this the easy way or the hard way, we just had to pick one.  We decided to battle it out.

Me:  ”You know Kat, I think that could work if you displayed it behind your angel figurines.”

Kat:  ”Maybe…but I think it would look good on your mantle.”

Me:  ”Oh Kat…don’t be silly….my house is a mess.  No one will ever see it.  You take it.”

Kat:  ”You exaggerate….I gave you some angels that would look perfect with this.”

Donna watched us with glee.  She had two people interested in her picture.  I could have held out but I really, really just wanted to leave.

Me:  ”Maybe you’re right.  It could work on the mantle.”

On our way out, Kara offered to reduce the price of a wooden chair that I had been admiring.  I couldn’t resist.  Donna made her way over to me one more time.

Donna:  ”You know I think this pillow would look great on that chair.”

No, it did not look good on the chair.  But I knew the drill.

Me:  ”Did you give this to your mother?”

Of course, she did.  Kat started laughing at me.  I didn’t even try to argue.

Me:  ”We have to leave now.  Thank you.”

Kara:  ”If you come to mass tomorrow, you can stop in again.”

That wasn’t going to happen.  Donna would probably have brought more of her mother’s things for me.

Me:  ”I wish I could but I have plans.  See you next year.”

I think Donna will be waiting for me next time.  But she’s not the only person that gives me things.

One of my neighbors, Janet, brought me some Pyrex bowls.

And Jack, who lives across the way, sent over a bike for Jaxon.

I give off a vibe that says “please entrust me with the things that you can not bear to take to the thrift store or place in the trash”.  I have to stop doing that.

My neighbor Mel called Tuesday.  She wants to have a garage sale the 17th and 18th of May.  It could be an opportunity to rid myself of the some of these recent acquisitions, like the angel and pillow.

The gingerbread doll is growing on me.  Or maybe not.

Over the last month, I have brought home a few new to me items.

I added to my collections of beaded purses and vases.

I purchased a few summer tops, bathing suits and curtains.

I added to my collection of back issues of Cottage Living and Country Living British Edition magazines (and enjoyed them both thoroughly).

My last and largest acquisition was a hard plastic photography backdrop that I found free on FreeCycle that Mike (not affectionately) and I (affectionately) call the “bathtub”.

It’s big and bulky (31″ x 31″ x 15.5″) and does not fit well amongst my clutter but makes it easy for me to take pictures of small items.

I sold 11 items and gave away/donated a small pile of clutter.

Not too bad for an entire month.

It’s safe to say that Kat and I know each others likes and dislikes very well.  If I’m out and happen to see an item that I think Kat would adore, like jewelry….

or Napco figurines…..

or salt and pepper shakers….

I pick them up without giving it a second thought.

Kat does the same for me.  Even when we had our disagreement last year, Kat left a lamp on my porch that she knew I would love.

Unfortunately, months later, it’s still on the front porch.

On Friday, she gave me these two items.

I must admit, I was thrilled.  The shoes look good on me, although I rarely wear heels and the lamp……well, that’s a great lamp.

Kat was inspired to give me these items because she had called me last week and asked me to find a necklace that she was sure I had in my possession.  It was a piece from a lot of jewelry that I had found deeply discounted and purchased for her to look at…..at least 5 years ago.

As I was not confident that I could not unearth this treasure, I told Kat that she must have it at her house.  But Kat, with her photographic memory, detailed her last known sighting of the piece and she was positive it was here, somewhere, and if I concentrated very hard, I could find it.

Kat:  ”I just bought this beautiful green shirt that I plan on wearing Saturday and I need that piece to complete the outfit.”

Me:  ”But I bought it years ago.  On a good day, I lose my glasses that are on my head in my mess. How am going to find it?”

Kat:  ”Come on.  You can do it.  You always do.  I need that piece.”

Me:  ”Arghhh!  Alright, I’ll look.”

I lied.  I had no interest in looking for that necklace.  It wasn’t long before I began to feel guilty.  Mike found me grumbling to myself in the living room.

Me:  ”Kat wants me to find a necklace that I bought for her years ago.”

Mike:  ”Why would it be here?”

Me:  ”Because she leaves things until she can pay me for them and she forgot about it until she found a new blouse that will compliment it perfectly.  She must have it.”

Mike shot me a look of disgust.

Mike:  ”You know, YOU ARE AN IDIOT if you drop everything to look for that necklace.”

Call me an idiot.  I started to search for the necklace.  I had a good idea where it might be, on or near my catch all table.  There, on the bottom shelf covered with dust, was a small box of items that I had collected for Kat.

And there, in the box, was the necklace.

Kat was thrilled and in lieu of cash, repaid my effort with the lamp and shoes.  I thought it was a more than fair trade.

So I really like those items but they are not the only type of gift that Kat gives to me. Sometimes my purchases trigger the “if I like it, you MUST like it, too” response with Kat.

An excellent example is the single rooster salt shaker from Howard Holt that I found at the thrift store along with a glass fish vase for Joel for Christmas.  So I would not drop it, I placed it in the vase as I walked through the thrift store.

Mike, Gabe and the nephews could not stop giggling.

The guys:  ”Don’t you get it? There’s a **** in the fish’s mouth.”

Me:  ”Wow, I don’t think like that.”

The guys (in unison):  ”We do!”

Everyone else in the store including the cashier noticed it also.

Mike:  ”You must give it to Joel, just like that.”

They insisted.  And as Kat wasn’t talking to me at the time, I did, with the provision that Joel would give Kat the rooster after everyone had their chuckles at Christmas.

Kat loved the rooster.  She had never seen one like it before.  In fact, she went on a buying spree and purchased additional pieces on eBay.  From near and far, a sugar bowl, creamer, napkin holder, candle sticks and more, all roosters, arrived at my door.  When Kat stopped to sort through her treasures, she offered me a set of rooster salt and pepper shakers.

Kat:  ”Take these.  I know you like them.  They’ll match your kitchen.”

Me:  ”Oh no.  You keep them as a set.”

Kat:  ”Don’t worry, I bought a single to match the one you gave to me.  Now we both have a set.”

Lovely, just lovely, more knick-knacks, to collect dust with my other knick-knacks. I’m not complaining, it’s just that I have things that I must part with if I am going to display Kat gifts.  She’s been sending over her “doubles” to me.

They are very cute but I am concerned that more and more of Kat’s collections may become mini collections at my house.

Last I wrote, my sister Kat was very, very angry with me.  All communication between the two of us ceased.  I had faith that eventually the two of us would kiss and make up but the path to reconciliation and the amount of time it would take were in question.

Usually, the first step is to let others know that each of us have been slighted by taking our argument to the masses.  That begins with our immediate family.  Mike was totally team Karen but how could he not?  The wedge between Kat and I allowed him an opportunity to air his grievances with Kat in an unfiltered forum.  And man o’ man did he grieve about everything.  He had a laundry list of items that he wanted to discuss from Kat’s clutter to her practical jokes to her attitude. And he was right about almost everything.  Ours is on many levels a one sided relationship.  Kat leaves clutter at my house but I could never do the same at hers (although she does keep one item of mine in her basement for leverage.  I should take care of that).  She plays practical jokes on Mike and me all the time (like the time she placed my bras in the mailbox for the mailman) but has a fit if you leave something in her front yard (like a toilet, for instance, very funny story that I have to finish writing).  If we go out to eat, it has to be where she wants to go, or something suddenly comes up that prevents her from going (that means Kat’s a no show unless it’s the Olive Garden, Buca di Peppo or pizza). I found myself agreeing with Mike.  ”You’re right, she’s a big ol’ meanie!”  And when I walked with the neighbor girls, Leslie and Bobbie, they agreed with Mike also.

Leslie:  ”Let her stew.  You are always doing something for her.”

I didn’t feel any better because they sided with me.  It’s dangerous territory to be self righteous and more than anything else, I can’t stay angry.  Within a week, I found that I had very little desire to continue the fight.  Kat did not feel the same.  I respected her decision. I saw Kat for the first time two weeks later at Jaxon’s third birthday party.  She ignored me completely.  Whenever she saw me with my camera, she moved out of frame or when she couldn’t, tried to hide behind someone.

In fact, she was still so angry with me that she avoided the rest of our family and fraternized with her perceived enemies, her in-law’s.  That was Kat’s way of saying “You are dead to me”.  Now that’s angry and I found it rather funny.

A week later, my sisters and I decided to celebrate Lynne’s birthday together.  Kat made excuses why she could not attend.  My sisters and I joked that if we had only had the party at Olive Garden or Buca di Peppo, Kat would have made an appearance.

Three days later, Mike, Jaxon and I unexpectedly ran into Kat at a free sandwich at Arby’s promotion.  Jaxon (Kat’s grandson) was too tired to notice that his grandparents and Uncle Zack were sitting across the dining area.

We waved but Kat ignored us.  She did eventually cross the great divide to say hello to Jaxon but she would not even look at me.  I thought we were making progress.  We were not. The next family event was Sue’s birthday.  Kat was unable to make it.  My sisters, Lynne and Sue started grumbling.

Sue:  ”This is ridiculous.”

Lynne:  ”This needs to stop.”

Me:  ”Just give her time.  You know how stubborn she is.”

Lynne & Sue:  ”Fix it!”

It’s not that easy.  I insisted that Kat had to be ready for any type of re-conciliatory overture.  They deduced that I was reluctant to make up.  It wasn’t that, I know Kat differently than they do.  When we were teenagers, she didn’t speak to me for years because my mere presence on this earth irritated her.

Me:  ”Just a little longer.  Besides, I have an ace in the hole.  Coke caps.”

That’s right, Kat is obsessed with collecting Coke caps.  She’d get in bed with the devil for a large quantity of them.  It’s like catnip to her, she will go to extremes to recover even a single cap, all for the opportunity to win a prize.  As shy as she is, she’ll ask anyone to save them for her, including my neighbors.  She even asked my mailman to collect them for her (crazy thing, he did until his route got changed, I’ll have to blog about that another time.)  As time passed, my collection of Coke caps got larger and larger.

I passed the word through her son that I had a large cache of caps.  No Kat. My next step was to be more aggressive.  Whenever she called Zack while he was at my house, I would run towards his phone and shake the bag of caps vigorously and yell into his phone, calling out the current count.

Me:  ”I’ve got caps!!  Over 60 caps!!”

Zack:  ”She says send them home with me.”

Me:  ”Tell her we have to meet.”

Zack:  ”She says NO.”

I couldn’t believe it.  Too mad for Coke caps?  Sacreblue!!!  Now I was irritated. I saw or heard nothing from Kat until my birthday in November.  She sent me a sweet card and a gift card for Lowe’s.  Finally, a break through, I thought.  I called to thank her and left a message on her answering machine and never heard back.  My sister Sue and Lynne started complaining again.

Sue:  ”What’s wrong with her?!”

Lynne:  ”This has got to end.  Thanksgiving is coming.”

Me:  ”I’ve tried, I don’t know what else to do.”

So Lynne took it upon herself to resolve the situation.  She called Kat and asked her what needed to be done to fix things.  Then she called me.

Lynne:  ”Ok, here’s the scoop.  She just needs you to apologize.”

Me:  ”I DID apologize.”

Lynne:  ”She says you didn’t.”

Me:  ”I did, over and over again.  I have witnesses.”

Lynne and I argued for 30 minutes.  Finally, I started to cry.

Me:  ”I’ve tried, she just won’t let it go.”

Lynne:  ”Look!  You have to force it!  She’s too hardheaded, YOU have to fix it.”

Me:  ”What do you want me to do?  She won’t take my calls.”

Lynne:  ”I want you to get in your car and drive to her house and apologize.”

Me:  ”You’re assuming that she’s answer the door….”

Lynne:  ”I don’t care!  Pound on it until she has to answer it.”

Yeah….I wasn’t going to do that unless I really wanted her to NEVER speak to me again.  She wouldn’t take kindly to her crazed sister showing up, banging on her door and making scene about personal matters in front of the neighbors.

Me:  ”I’m not doing that but I will try again.”

I didn’t.  My neighbors, my friends, even the employees at the corner store knew that Kat and I were at odds.  I was thoroughly exhausted of talking about the issue with everyone but Kat. Then one late November morning, Mike called out, “Kat’s here”.  I tumbled out of my chair and ran to the door to see if it was true.  She walked in and handed me a bag with animal print shirt and old electric scissors.

Kat:  ”Hey……I had these for you”.

I’m not an animal print kind of gal and I have no use for a pair of electric scissors but hell, she was there.

Me:  ”Thanks”.

And after a few silent moments, we began to talk at the exact same time.

Me:  ”I’m sorry about everything….”

Kat:  ”Well, I knew one of us had to do something about it…”

I started to cry, like I always do, and Kat who never cries told me to knock it off.

Kat:  ”Don’t start the waterworks now”.

I gave Kat her bag of Coke caps, now over 100 in count.  She feigned disinterest but I knew she was excited by the large stash. We gave each other an awkward hug and Kat turned and left.  I was relieved it was over but it really wasn’t, not just yet.

I saw Kat for a few minutes at Christmas and it was uncomfortable.  But there were small clues that things might return to normal, like the glass grapes she gave me for Christmas that Mike hates and the blow mold Santas that she gave to Mike that he hates even more.  (He expressed his displeasure with a hand gesture.  Kat loved the reaction as that’s what she expected.  I wish they would just quit tormenting each other but I do enable it.) And then, in the last days of December, boxes started arriving at my house.

They kept coming…

And coming…

But no Kat.  I called her.

Me:  ”Kat, you have a pile of packages at my house.”

Kat:  ”I know.  I’ve been really busy.  I’ll be over as soon as I can.”

Me:  ”Sooner than later, please.  I have no room.”

It reminded me of the scene in the first Harry Potter movie when the Uncle refused letters from Hogwarts but they kept coming.  Eventually, she stopped by and picked up her purchases.  She explained that since she was working so much, she felt her packages would be safer on my covered porch (that is filled with clutter) than her front stoop.

Me:  ”That’s all, right?”

Kat:  ”Well…I do have a small package and the new headlight assemblies for my Sebring.”

They were not the last packages.

It became a routine.  Mailman stops with packages.  Mike and mailman discuss Mike’s life in Hell because packages are filling the house.  Mike is now in a mood and comes into house with packages complaining that we have no room and the packages must go.  I tell him to relax, Kat and I are still on fragile ground.  Kat stops every two weeks to retrieve packages.  Mike is still unhappy and tells the mailman that he can start to pack our car shed with packages.  I’m not fond of the idea and Mike and I start to squabble.  I call Kat to give her weekly package count.  Kat stops by and picks up “most” of her packages.  And then it starts all over again. They keep coming….

And coming….

It was our new normal.  She even sends me things, like this Hard Rock Christmas pin.

Then, finally a real break through.  Kat stopped by after a particularly rough day with chocolate cake, chocolate milk and chocolate peanut butter cup ice cream to decompress with “me”.  A chocolate feast for two.  It was finally over.

The packages keep coming but less frequently.  Unfortunately, Kat’s clutter fills the new space I create.  Another package arrived today. I expect that they will continue to keep coming and I’m alright with that. I can’t say the same for Mike although but he has someone he can commiserate with, his buddy the mailman.

My sisters and I generally manage to get along quite well.  When we do argue, it is either Sue and Lynne or Kat and I that tend to get on each others last nerve.  Sue and Lynne solve their differences quickly but every few years, Kat and I have a blow out of epic proportions when one or the other really pushes an issue that the other has absolutely no tolerance for.  And when it happens, it affects everyone. I tend to get mad slowly, vent quickly, feel horrible because I erupted and am over the whole problem within two days.  As for Kat, let’s just say, I do not like to mess with her. Depending on the perceived injustice, once she is mad at you, it literally can take months for her to cool down.  Even then, Kat NEVER, EVER, EVER forgets and your relationship is permanently altered.

Early last year, Kat asked me if she could leave an extra car in our driveway.  I told her yes and when Mike found out, he had a fit.  He knew that once she parked the car, it was destined to stay in our driveway until it rusted away and the wheels fell off. How did he know?  Because this wasn’t his first rodeo, she had done it before. But I digress, this story is about the blue Impala.  As Mike had predicted, the inspection on the Impala ran out in July and not so coincidentally, Kat stopped calling and stopped visiting.  She just disappeared.  Mike and I began to argue.

Mike:  ”I want that car gone.”

Me:  ”Don’t worry, Kat will take care of it.”

Mike:  ”No, she won’t.  She’s always over here and now she’s not.  She’s avoiding us.”

Me:  ”Actually, she’s avoiding you, not me.”

Mike:  ”ARGHHH!!  Don’t play with me!  We have enough of your s**t in the driveway and her s**t in this house.  Either you get that POS gone or I’ll park it on her front lawn!”

Oh-oh!  Now he was thinking about my clutter.

Me:  ”Give me a few days to track her down.  In the meantime, just turn it around so the police don’t notice the inspection sticker…”

Mike:  ”That’s NOT the solution, if you don’t fix this, I’ll….”

Me:  ”I’ll fix it!  Just give me a few days.”

 Not a day went by that Mike didn’t curse the Impala.  I cornered Kat in mid August.  She was broke, her other cars had some unexpected mechanical difficulties.

Me:  ”What do you think it needs to pass inspection?”

Kat:  ”Two new tires.”

Me:  ”That’s it?  Two tires?”

Kat:  ”Un-huh.”

Me:  ”You’re positive?  Nothing else?”

Kat:  ”I haven’t owned it that long, what else could be wrong.”

In retrospect, a lot of things.  Although the car was new to Kat, she had obtained it from her mother-in-law who bought a new car because she didn’t want to spend any money inspecting the old Impala.  Even though, I wanted her words to be true, I knew better.  Kat wills things to be the way she wants them to be and then is completely shocked (and I mean COMPLETELY) when they turn out differently.  I knew something wasn’t right but wanted to believe also.

Me:  ”How about, I buy the two tires, since we’ve been using the car and you pay for inspection.  Would that work?”

Kat:  ”But I don’t want you to pay for my car.”

Me:  ”You can pay me back if you want and besides Mike will be easier to manage if the car is inspected.”

Kat:  ”Ummmm…, Mike will be happy?”

Me:  ”Happier than he is right now.  Just two tires, you’re positive?”

Kat:  ”Just two tires.”

Kat scheduled an appointment to have the car inspected on August 15th, conveniently on a day that she planned on being out-of-town, that again, in retrospect, meant that she knew that there could potentially be problems.  Mike drove the Impala to my niece’s boyfriend Luke’s garage first thing in the morning.  A few hours later, Luke called me.

Luke:  ”Hey, I can’t find Kat and I need to talk to her about the car.”

Me:  ”She’s away.  It needs two tires, right?”

Luke:  ”It needs four tires, an alignment and a few other things.  It’s going to run her about $700.”

Me:  ”WHAT?!?  She told me two tires.”

Luke:  ”I talked to her in July and told her what it needed.  She knows all about it.”

Me:  ”She said it needs two tires, that’s all, I talked to her a few days ago.”

Luke:  ”Look, she’s wrong, it’s on the rack, the wheels are all off AND we need the bay.  What do you want me to do?”

Me:  ”I have to talk to Kat.  She have a fit if I authorize anything other than what we agreed on.”

Luke:  ”Find HER.  There are few things that can wait but she needs the tires and I have to charge her for inspection if it passes or fails.  Make it quick.”

I called Kat, again no answer.  Mike started grumbling.

Mike: “Why the #$%*& would Kat go missing with her car in the shop?”

I stared at him.

Mike:  ”She’s simple sometimes, you know that don’t you?”

I stared at him.

Mike:  ”Just sayin’.”

I spent the rest of the morning looking for Kat and answering the phone as everyone was looking for her and checking in.  Sue stopped in around 1pm.

Sue:  ”Find her?”

Me:  ”No.  I think I’m going to have to make the call and tell Luke to fix the car. Kat’s going to be pissed.”

Sue:  ”Too bad, she should answer her phone.”

I called Luke.

Me:  ”Put the tires on and finish it.”

Luke (angrily):  ”She just called and told me NOT to inspect it.”

Me:  ”What the….why didn’t she call me?  Did you take it down yet.”

Luke:  ”NO.  And she said she’ll pick it up and take it to her house tonight.”

Me:  ”She doesn’t have room for it and does she know that she owes you for inspection?”

Luke:  ”Look, I have work here and I can’t deal with this stupid s**t.  What do you want to do?”

Me:  ”Give me five minutes.”

I called Kat, no answer, obviously she did not want to talk to me.  I talked to Sue and we agreed it was best to fix the car.  We worked on the story that we would tell Kat.  Our plan was to tell Kat that Sue paid for the balance because Kat would never be mad at her.  I called Luke.

Me:  ”Fix it.  Sue’s covering the balance.”

Luke:  ”#%@&, it will be done in an hour.”

When it was finished, it was only an additional $94 with coupons and rebates.  We brought the car back to my house, newly inspected.  We were satisfied with our cleverness and were eating pizza when Kat called in a rage around 8:30pm.

Kat:  ”I’m at the garage.  Where’s my car!?!”

Note:  This question is very important for a few reasons.  First, I’ve been calling her ALL DAY and she would not call me back.  Now she wants to talk to me.  Secondly, it wouldn’t be unusual for one of her sisters to pick up the car before the shop closed as a favor to her (because she was away and so Luke didn’t have to place it in the garage overnight).  Thirdly, why wouldn’t she call Luke and ask him?  He is the only person she called all day.  And finally, she didn’t even know what happened yet, why was she screaming at me?

Me:  ”At my house.”

Kat (sputtering and yelling):  ”What!?!  Why!?!  What!?!”

Me:  ”Calm down, Sue and I decided that…..”

Kat:  ”YOU DECIDED!!  YOU DECIDED!!  THAT IS NOT YOUR CAR!!  HOW DARE YOU!  OOOOHHH, I AM SOOO ANGRY….”

Me:  ”But..but…but…”

And then she hung up on me.

Mike:  ”What the Hell was that?”

Me:  ”She’s mad, really mad.”

Sue:  ”Did she hang up on you?  What’s wrong with her?”

Me:  ”She’s really, really, really upset.”

Sue:  ”I’ll call her.”

Kat didn’t answer.  Sue and Mike though Kat was being unreasonable.  I knew Kat was going to be mad but I did not expect that she was would be livid.  I felt terrible.  I thought if I gave her some time to calm down, we could discuss it calmly.

Kat called the next morning unexpectedly.  She was in a fighting mood.  She yelled at me for 20 minutes straight and when Kat is seeing red there is nothing you can do but say you are sorry until her voice gives out.  The conversation covered four main topics, over and over again.

Kat:  ”YOU had no right to give the order to fix my car.  NO means NO!

Me:  ”I’m sorry.”

Kat:  ”NO YOU’RE NOT!”

Me:  ”I’m sorry.”

Next….she made sure I knew she knew that I had a big mouth.

Kat:  ”Why did you have to tell Sue about the car, LUCY LIPS?”

Me:  ”She was here, the phone rang, she overheard the conversation.  I’m sorry.”

Kat:  ”NO you’re NOT!”

Me:  ”I’m sorry.”

Next….a reference to our youth…some more name calling

Kat:  ”You’re not telling the truth, this was never Sue’s idea, it’s alllll you, I just know it.”

Me:  ”Sue wanted to help…”

Kat:  ”Don’t you dare play “SWEET PUPPY” with me, I know you did it, you know you did it!”

Me:  ”I’m sorry.”

OK, so that might not sound bad but Kat doesn’t swear, she makes up names and it’s pretty funny because they are so silly.  Usually, when she’s irritated with me she calls me “Alpha Dog” because I’m her “bossy, know-it-all older” sister.  She was letting me know that although I’m portraying myself as an innocent or “sweet puppy”, she really means once an “Alpha Dog”  always an “Alpha Dog” and I had ulterior motives.

Next and last…

Kat:  ”You had no right to spend $500 of my money!!!!!!”

Me:  ”But it wasn’t $500, it was only……”

Kat:  ”IT COST $500.”

Me:  ”NO, it didn’t, I have the receipt!”

Kat:  ”YES IT WAS!”

This is the biggest problem of them all.  Kat refuses to do the math.  This might be hard to follow.

Total cost:  $533

Less 2 tires (Me):  $240

Subtotal:  $293

Less inspection pass or fail (Kat): $53

Subtotal: $240

Less 2 tires (Sue):  $240

Subtotal:  $0

Plus mail-in rebate: $94 (with purchase of 4 tires)

By my calculations, Kat only needed $147 to have her car inspected, inspection plus one tire, $53 + $94 = $147.

By Kat’s calculations, no matter how she looked at it, it was $500.

As family disagreements sometimes go, the yelling escalated as there was nothing I could say to Kat to calm her down and I’m sorry just wasn’t enough. Eventually, I had enough and started to cry.

Me:  ”I can’t do this anymore!  I’m hanging up!  I’m sorry!  I’m hanging up!  I’m sorry!  I’m so sorry!”

And I hung up the phone which, by the way, is something that is never acceptable in my family and I’m sure in Kat’s eyes (in the heat of the moment) was just my way being superior.

That was the last I heard of Kat for a long time.  In all fairness, she was right, I went against her wishes, I helped spend her money regardless of the amount and I was duplicitous when I said that I did not involve Sue in the affair.  Oh, and lest I forget, I made Kat cry and nobody goes there.  I was wrong.

It was not my intent to be malicious but I also knew that she does not like to be overruled.  Kat had some personal issues that had been weighing heavily upon her and I think she had reached her breaking point and snapped with me.  Kat and I have argued before but this was huge.  It took a long time to patch up our differences.  And if you are wondering why I chose to tell this story, I’ll give a hint, it involves more clutter.  I’ll have to finish the story next post.

I have very little to report this week.  I sold a musical snowglobe and an ashtray.

I managed to stay away from the thrift store for two weeks until this past Saturday. Then, I purchased a vintage beaded purse and rhinestones for myself and picked up a few rings for Kat.

Kat stopped this morning and traded them for a floral raincoat that I had been coveting.  I’ll have to remember to add that to next week’s update.

I have a HUGE problem with procrastination.  In fact, I should dedicate a week to posts on the subject as it is such a prevalent part of my life.  Indoors, there is evidence everywhere but it is a private matter.  Outdoors, it is an issue that I share with the world at large.

When it comes to clearing the yard, the porch and the driveway in the fall, I always wait until the very last minute and then attempt to do a weeks worth of work in 3 hours.  Year after year after year, it never changes.

It starts when I am unable to empty all the flower pots in late September because it’s still too warm and the annuals still look great.  So what if the temperature dips below freezing for a night or two.  I bring in as many plants that can fit in the living room and cover the rest on the porch with a blanket.  It works…for awhile….until October 15th and the local weather stations stop announcing freeze warnings and alerts because….the season is officially over.  But I tell myself that there will be more nice days until Halloween arrives.  And I tell myself this fable again as Thanksgiving comes and goes.  During this time, I lose a few more plants each time the temperature dips until I have dead plants everywhere.  Finally I am motivated to clean up the mess but now it’s too cold and everything is frozen.  By mid December, I’m watching the weather forecasts, begging for just one more day of sun and temperatures above 40° to finish what I should have taken care of months earlier.

Before long, the freezing and thawing destroys my planters also.  Usually I lose anything terracotta that I have left outside along with a few ceramic pots, like this one.

Interesting story behind that favored pot.  Since I never found time to empty it (which would have taken less than 5 minutes), I turned it on its side so that snow and rain would not collect in the pot and freeze.  A few days later, I found it upright.  Instead of emptying it, I turned it on its side to drain again.  A few days later, it was upright again.  The process repeated over and over until we had a deep freeze and a few inches of snow which hid the pot from view.  When the snow melted in late January, I was truly surprised to find the pot broken (btw, it was Mike who kept standing upright and had no sympathy when I moaned about the pot).

I didn’t have another chance to work outside until late February.  Every thing was as I had left it a month earlier.

I don’t even remember how the bench found its way to the front of the house.  The ground had thawed and its legs were slowing sinking into the earth.

I found that my tulips and hyacinths were already breaking through the soil.

It was beginning to look a lot like Spring and that was two weeks ago.  The temperatures are going to be near 60° today and I hope to finish the last of the work. I just can’t call it fall cleanup any longer.

This past week I sold an odd collection of items, including an old tv tray and a trinket box and made a total of $50.

The real news is that I made it through an entire week and brought nothing home. Nothing.  That doesn’t mean I didn’t stop at the store, I did twice, and although a few things caught my eye, I left without them.  I’m pretty psyched as I prefer to practice restraint over avoidance.

I’ll make this quick.

This week, I brought home a few things.

A sweater, a top, a neoprene luch tote and a few vintage pillowcases with crocheted edging (I just find it very hard to resist those pillowcases).

And nothing has gone out…yet.  But I’m pleased to say that I have put together a small pile of things to donate but until they’re gone….they’re not really gone.