Over the holiday, I found myself with just enough time to run through the house to find something to donate.
I found some contact lenses that I had been meaning to send to madre.org.
And there was the receiver that has been sitting in the living room since October that I wanted to take to the thrift store.
I was happy to let them go, but truth be told, neither one of those items belonged to me and I felt like I was cheating.
I wanted to find something that I identified as my own personal property. I remembered that I had been given a drop leaf table by a FreeCycler in July and had planned to use it in my kitchen. Months later, it sat disassembled in the trunk of my car. I had forgotten about it until my sister Sue had given me another drop leaf table that I liked better. It sits under a tarp in the driveway with yet two other tables (the green plastic one is my sister-in-laws and I haven’t moved the patio table to the back yard yet).
One of them had to go. I liked Sue’s table better so I placed a FreeCycle ad for the other.
I had numerous responses from people who need a dining room table. Here are three of them.
“I have been looking for a new kitchen table since mine got water under the veneer. It molded and was a huge mess so I had to throw it out before I could afford a new one, and now I can’t have family meals any more.”
“This table would be perfect in my home. We just moved from living with family and have no furniture of our own, and would be able to make great use of it if it’s available.”
“We would absolutely love to have this table. We already have a drop leaf table in our kitchen but it’s even smaller than this one and now that we are a family of five we cannot all sit around it at dinner. We are barely making ends meet, so we don’t even talk about the situation. My hubby and I just take turns sitting on the floor at dinnertime!”
So while I rarely find the time to eat at my own cluttered dining room table, which is a personal choice, there are families in my area that wish they could. I found it hard to choose so I pulled a name from a hat. Less than an hour later, the table was gone.
Now I have it make room in the kitchen for the table in the driveway before it rains on Sunday. But if I can’t, I have a list of people that could really use that table.
how many months does it ordinarily take to complete a ten day challenge anyway?
By: joel on November 27, 2011
at 2:32 pm
I know, I know. I laugh about it myself. I prefer to focus on the fact that although I have not done the ten days in a consecutive manner, I did not give up even though I wanted to more than once. I had plenty of excuses, school. job hunting, the holidays, watching Jaxon, family situations, ect. that normally overwhelm me and cause me to bag things up or try to stuff them in my attic. I’m not saying that it won’t happen, I’m just saying that I feel accountable and am trying my best to finish instead of giving up and saying “Oh I’ll just try another time, I’m just TOO busy”. I only have days nine and ten left but I have a trip to Cleveland, a college trip with Emma I’m trying to plan and Zack’s college (scheduling and funding) to figure out. Do you think it’s possible for me to finish the challenge before Christmas?
By: navalanche on November 27, 2011
at 3:00 pm
well, if i’m not mistaken, you need only to dispose of one bag of clutter each day in order to fulfill your challenge. so, go into your bedroom with a plastic bag for the next two days, fill the sack with random items from the great wall of navah, have mike drive them down to the corner store for donations, and voila, you have mastered your glorious quest.
By: joel on November 28, 2011
at 5:12 am
It’s not that easy for me. Think of it as alcohol, I’m addicted. Do you think it would work if you just told me to stop drinking, I would stop immediately and say “Oh now that you put it that way, I get it. Silly me.” It’s not just a choice, my mind works differently than yours. My head is cluttered and it manifests itself physically in large piles of clutter. The habit has become so deeply ingrained that it’s my default, when I’m stressed I cling to things. And I think your not around enough to see the small things that are happening that I don’t have time to report everyday. It may not be a whole bag but things are moving out almost every day. I’m still trying to start and maintain new habits and coping skills that I am comfortable with.
By: navalanche on November 28, 2011
at 1:56 pm
i realize your clutter is an addiction. but, if i was still drinking, and had a house filled to overflowing with booze, i would not have had much difficulty parting with one or two bottles, due to the fact that i knew that there was still an enormous quantity at my disposal. sorting through the bedroom, and picking out a bag or two of items you have that you will absolutely never have real use for is of a similar nature, i believe. there would still be a tremendous stash of treasure there. each pice of clothing on the bed cannot possibly have the same intrinsic value to you. i’m certain that a hoarder has a way of dealing with life that is different than mine, it’s just that even an alcoholic or drug addict can slow down on consumption of his or her poison of choice if a serious desire to moderate the undesirable behavior is opted for. i know from personal experience, that changing an ingrained default behavior is hard to do. very hard. and i also know you are making progress. however, i realize that one must sometimes take steps on a path that seems unimaginably tough to get where you wish to end up. up.
By: joel on November 28, 2011
at 6:02 pm
Sorry my replies took so long. Before I begin, I hope you don’t think that I was referencing you in anyway when I wrote about alcohol. I was referencing my mother. All my life, I tried to distance myself from her behavior and believed that I was different than her. And yet, I exhibit qualities that mirror hers, whether innate or learned. So while you feel that you would have no problem stopping collecting if you had an enormous quantity at your disposal, my mother only stopped when she ran out of money. I’ve asked everyone in my family and they agree that if my mother found beer at a real or even perceived discount in an excessive quantity AND if she had the money, there is no doubt that we girls would have been cast out of the house to make room for her hoard.
Secondly, I’m not sure but I think this stream of comments started right after I had seen you in person and I think you might have come away with the impression that my day a day challenge was the only time I was letting go of clutter. Often, the only time I have to write is very late at night when I’m exhausted and my brain is fuzzy so I don’t have the time or energy to post about the minutia of my day. I have been donating things with some regularity, usually a small bag of clothing or knick-knacks (2 – 3 times a week). My sisters and I take them to the corner store when they stop by (I often see my clutter on their shelves) and even Karen M would stop by once a week to see if I had a bag ready to go whenever her schedule permitted. And when I ran over to Leslie’s while you were over, she and I were discussing some of the furniture that I have that she is going to take (although truthfully, nothing is gone yet).
And lastly, my consumption has slowed considerably although lately I do find myself picking something up here and there for Jaxon. Collecting items for him instead of myself is potentially a slippery slope that I will have to remain cautious about since I tend to think big (I have a train table and toy box in my living room that proves the point).
By: navalanche on January 21, 2012
at 5:16 pm
ooops. sorry for the typos.
By: joel on November 28, 2011
at 6:04 pm
No problem. I could proofread something over and over and still find errors.
By: navalanche on January 21, 2012
at 5:17 pm
Another one! And that’s a biggy!!
I think that maybe you should just TRY Joel’s idea one day. Like today even. You can even turn it into a game. Turn the timer on for 15 minutes, grab a bag, and run around the house. See how full you can get it in 15 minutes. You might surprise yourself. The first time I did this, I was shocked how much crap I found. Actual crap. Garbage. And I’m not a hoarder. So, try it, you might be surprised!
By: MutantSupermodel on November 29, 2011
at 5:20 pm
i sure hope you know that i’m not trying to be critical of your problem. any time i mention something of this sort to you, i am doing it simply as a healing gesture.
you do have an addiction that is not at all different than mine. for the rest of my life, i’ll need to think of myself as a recovering alcoholic. the major difference between where i am now, and where you stand respective to our difficulties is that i had a moment of clarity, when i came to the realization that my destructive behavior had to stop. most addicts need to sink to their lowest bottom, before they try to dig themselves out. some bottoms are lower than others. and, some unfortunates never seem to reach their low point, but rather continue to descend deeper and deeper into their personal abyss. you, my dear, at least comprehend the addiction and would like to stop, but are still reluctant to make concrete steps toward digging yourself out of the hole. addicts do that. the substance or behavior holds sway over rational thought, and fights to maintain itself in the addicted person’s life. i am not at all religious, but i do believe that addiction mirrors demonic possession insofar as it gains hold of the mind and needs to be exorcised one way or another.
i don’t know if you ever watched “intervention” on tv. almost always, they show an addict as they live their life, and then confront the person with reality. the addict invariably hates the idea of giving up the awful addiction. their mannerisms do remind me very much of the way you react when the idea of parting with parts of your collection.
going into the bedroom and filling a small bag with items you select as least necessary in your life, could be a small step toward recovery. i doubt if it would take more than 15 minutes out of your day.
By: joel on November 29, 2011
at 6:18 pm
Not to worry, I know you want the best for me. I just think that I’ve taken concrete steps to change my habits, I just don’t have time to post everything I accomplish and you might be focusing on certain areas that I am not. I am excited that the nephews have been noticing the differences.
I don’t watch Intervention (reminds me life with my mom and is hard to watch) but I do watch Hoarders. You’ll have to watch it sometime as there is a little piece of me in nearly every episode I watch.
By: navalanche on January 22, 2012
at 12:21 am
Today sounds good. By the way, I like the new gravatar.
By: navalanche on January 21, 2012
at 11:57 pm