Posted by: navalanche | March 16, 2010

This is not my lamp

Over the last few weeks, I’ve lost momentum.  Family matters have kept me preoccupied.  Two of my sisters are dealing with personal issues and we are all working together to support each other.  I want to help find a solution to their problems but I have no control over these particular matters.  Feeling impotent, my stress levels have increased and I have found solace in the very habits that I have been trying so hard to suppress.  It’s as if I am trying to find equilibrium between my emotional chaos and my physical environment.  Instead of purging, I am burdening myself with additional clutter.  What is interesting about this episode is that I have chosen to clutter my car instead of my house.  It started when I filled the trunk of the car and when it was full, I filled the back seat.  Mike has noticed the clutter (he has eyes after all) and has been gently urging me to slow down and focus on what I am doing.  In turn, I continue to tell him that “It’s not all my stuff” and “I have it under control”.

I am lying to myself.

It may not be all my stuff but I do not have my clutter tendencies under control.

Last week, I went shopping with Kat.  When we returned, Kat was excited about her purchase of a green lamp and decided to test it at my house.  Mike immediately became alarmed when he saw the lamp.  He wasn’t sure who it belonged to.  In general, lamp=Karen, green=Kat.  Even though we assured him that the lamp was indeed Kat’s, he began protesting vigorously about its presence.

Mike:  “That’s not staying here, Kat.”

Kat:  “Don’t be silly.  I’m just testing it.”

Mike:  “I mean it, Kat.  We don’t need anymore lamps in this house.”

Kat:  “Don’t worry.  This is for my spare bedroom.”

Mike:  “Kat, I’m serious.  That lamp can not stay here.”

So we spent the rest of the afternoon socializing, until suddenly Kat jumped up and yelled.

Kat:  “OMG!  I’m late!”

And she ran out the front door…..without the lamp.  Days later, the lamp sits on my living room floor causing Mike to moan “When is she taking that thing home?” every time he passes it.  “Soon”, I promise but he knows that it’s not true.  I continue to offer sanctuary to my sisters “special” purchases.  And there are a lot of them.  I can’t say “no” but something has to change if I want to continue to say “yes”.

Step one… Kat’s lamp in the car (with the rest of our recent purchases).  She’ll see it languishing there every time she stops by and hopefully will find an opportunity to sneak it into her house when her husband isn’t looking.  Maybe Wednesday evening, as I know he has plans to visit a friend.  Even if she does take it home, what about everything else she has stored here?  I think it’s time to take inventory.  I think Kat and I will both be surprised.


  1. maybe i can wrap it up and give it to her for her birthday?

    • She took it home but left other things. I’ll pick something else for you to wrap for her birthday.

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